An Ode to My Son

It has been exactly 2 years since I posted here. So many changes in these past two years. Trying to update a little bit here from my writings in the past two years. Saved in my notes. Excerpts on Instagram or Twitter.

June 08, 2024

9:35 PM

You are our rainbow baby.

Exactly 4 months after the loss

I got to know of your existence within me.

Alhamdulilah 

Wahn Ala Wahn.

The Quran describes the 9 months.

I do not know which was harder,

The emotional aspect or the physical pain

Alhamdulilah 

The long hours of labour.

Contractions are to bring the baby down.

But it is my third time. I know my body well by now.

It also reduces the baby’s heart rate go down.

My heart was in my mouth.

Isthigfar. Dua for Ease. Afiyah.

Signed the C-section consent form.

Too dangerous to take a chance

And a wise doctor arrives.

‘No need. He is already here’

‘Just one more push from you, Mama’

There you are, a tiny bluish baby on me.

My pain stops. And a feeble cry from you.

Alhamdulilah 

You are safe. You are on me.

For 9 months, I have been worried.

Every time I saw drops of blood

My heart plummeted 

Ya Allah. Please. 

I cannot go through another loss.

All the worries flew away.

You were here.

Safe and sound.

Happy and crying.

Alhamdulilah 

Alhamdulilah 

Alhamdulilah 

I took a peek at you.

In your tiny baby bed.

A tiny chin.

Just like your father.

Alhamdulilah 

May you find beauty

And give good grace to all

May you be true to your name.

The name of the Beloved 

The great grandson of the Beloved

The name of your grandfathers

Paternal and Maternal.

May you be the best companion to your sisters

May you be the healing for your father.

May you be the support to your mother.

May you be of benefit to your family and society

May you be granted the best in this world and the next.

Alhamdulilah a million times!