Chemical Pregnancy

Chemical pregnancy – A poem

ShahiraMotherhood, Poem

Bloated feeling and nausea.
I need no scans and blood test.
In my mind, I knew.

 I count the months and the days
Mark the due date.
In my mind, I knew.

I share with him the feeling!
Joyous and tensed – we were.
In my mind, I knew.

Wait a week more to test.
The longest week ever.
In my mind, I knew.

Then came the pain and the tears.
Ending even before it started.
In  my mind, I knew.

Maybe you just simply felt it – they said
Pregnancy doesn’t happen so soon- they remarked

In my mind, I knew

 

They brush off as trivial mishap.

Happens to everyone – they tell.

In my mind, I knew.

Confusion and grief abounds.

Will I never be able to hold a tiny hand?

In my mind, I knew.

Was it due to lack of food?

Or lifting a heavy furniture?

In my mind, I knew.

Guilt overpowers.

Did I make a mistake?

In my mind, I knew.

Was I happy too soon?

Self doubt creeps in.

In my mind, I knew.

Bloated feeling and nausea.
I need no scans and blood test

In my mind, I knew

You were gone, even before they knew.

Life and death are from Him alone.

Al Hayy – The everlasting.

A chemical pregnancy is an early miscarriage, which takes place before it can be seen on an ultrasound scan – usually around the fifth week of pregnancy. It means that a sperm has fertilized the egg, but later on, the egg fails to survive. Due to the very early nature of miscarriage, it is often brushed off and considered trivial by medical professionals and by friends and family. But it is an emotionally taxing situation for a mother especially if this is her first time or if she has been TTC for a long time. There is often confusion as to whether ‘Did I imagine it?’ to guilt ‘Was it something I did?’ to eventually grief, ‘Will I never be able to conceive?’.

As a friend or relative, do not brush off when some one shares their story of chemical pregnancy however early the loss was. Acknowledge their pain and help them out. If you are the spouse, just be there.

To children we hold in our hands and hearts, may we meet in Jannah. (Heaven)

October is considered as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. 

chemicalpregnancy

 

43 thoughts on “Chemical pregnancy – A poem”

  1. I experienced this…and it felt like nobody understood me fully-why I was grieving, when I had such a short pregnancy. I had two positive home pregnancy tests (taken in different weeks), but during the ultrasound they saw no baby. He/she would have been about 2.5 months old now.
    I will never forget this baby I lost. I hope to meet him/her in Jannah.

    Reply

  5. O God this poem is so true and heart touching. I know the anxieties of ttc very well as my friend just has 2 miscarriages in a span of 6 months and I have just decided to ttc. I am so nervous! Allah save us from such painful things.

    Reply

  12. This is so beautiful. I’m so sorry you went through this – it’s never easy and is so hard to deal with. Keep your faith! God has a plan. xo

    Reply

  16. Beautiful post! I experienced a vanishing twin two years ago with my second. People told me things like, “well at least it wasn’t a real miscarriage.” I think about what he or she would look like everyday! Loved your post.

    Reply

    1. I am so sorry for your loss!! I didnot know about the concept of vanishing twin until a few years back.
      Thank you for stopping by!

      Reply

  18. My sister went through a miscarriage. Although it was quite later yet it’s true that people brush it off as nothing because they haven’t seen the baby. But for you, you’ve felt it. You’ve dreamt it. So earlier or later, it hurts right in the middle of the heart. Where once that child rested…
    When she went through a miscarriage, this is the letter I wrote for her…
    http://ayeina.com/finding-hope-in-miscarriage/

    Reply

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