How to Take Consent From Our Children? – Week 8, 2021 – Project 365

Week 8 of 2021 Alhamdulilah! Sharing a picture daily from our small world as part of Project 365

Saturday, February 20, 2021

Children teach you to appreciate the smallest of gifts and the beauty of simple living.

Two tots happy with their ice cream 😍.

Sunday, February 21, 2021

The weather was so perfect today!

Cloudy weather in Doha is a joy! Slight drizzle, cool breeze and perfect company – things I have always wished for. Alhamdulilah.

We often forget to appreciate the things that we have been blessed with because, by the time we receive what we wanted, our wish list has grown bigger again.

Monday, February 22, 2021

Ever since I started bullet journaling, I noticed my anger rises off the roof on PMS days.

So today we took out our paints and brushes. I think it was more of art therapy for me than them.

I tried to to do some strokes like …😜😜 Well, let’s say, that is not a talent I have!🤣 Meanwhile follow her to see some unique art work!

Sharing a simple hack for moms – Use a shower curtain underneath before any messy activity- They are cheap, waterproof, easy to clean and can be easily put in the washing machine.

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

How to Take Consent From Our Children?

I learnt something today about ‘How to take consent from children in words they can understand?’

Little girl 5 agreed to a haircut by yours truly. (Not comfortable taking her to the salon with the current situation + all the children’s salon we used to take her are closed now + a men’s salon nearby said they cannot do it since curly hair)

So ready with all the armamentarium, I started cutting her hair. Well, 1/4 into the task, she started crying and telling me she doesn’t want a hair cut. I showed her the mirror and she goes, ‘ok then yes’. I continued cutting but she was in tears. By the time I finished there was a tears-storm and my heart broke. And I was like – my lord what do I do now?

Finally, I talked to her a lot, she calmed down and told me her expectations – she was expecting only a trim (cut the tip – in her words). She also found it offending that I laughed while cutting the hair. I did smile while cutting since I realised during the process that, cutting her hair was way harder than I thought it would be. The scissors that I had were really not enough!

She relaxed soon and went about painting. Her dad loved the cut. So did everyone else whom I sent the pic. But the guilt feeling in me didn’t go away.

So how do we take consent from our children?

•Explain in simple terms and words that they can understand.
• A mere yes from them is not really consent if they haven’t understood the whole process.
• Supplement with videos and pictures if they cannot understand through words.
• For process and decisions that cannot be changed – let them know – it is irreversible! Tell them hair cannot be attached back neither can be an ear-piercing be reversed again.
• If there is pain involved in the process (eg: ear piercing) let them know openly about the pain.
• Ask them their expectations about the process /decisions. (So my daughter was expecting just a trim whereas my idea was to cut the hair really short. I just expected her to have the same thought process as me which isn’t right!)

• Prepare them well in advance for, during and after the process( eg- the length of the hair will be short compared to now!)

…and to make her feel better, I said, ‘You look cute like Dora!’

Her reply : ‘Well, Mama, I do not want to be Dora. I just want to be ME’

My heart broke a little more – Yet I was so proud of her. For asserting her individuality.

My daughters are my teachers! Alhamdulilah

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Off for an evening walk!

At the beginning of my parenting journey, I came across a FB parenting group named ‘Ask the Village’ which introduced me to many unique parenting ideas, how to think out of the box, besides learning to be ‘independent’ In parenting.

One of the first parenting philosophies I learned from the group was ‘Attachment Parenting’.

‘Attachment parenting (AP) is a parenting philosophy that proposes methods aiming to promote the attachment of parent and infant not only by maximal parental empathy and responsiveness but also by continuous bodily closeness and touch’

This philosophy helped me as a young mom of one and also during the busy phase of having two young kids under the age of three. Kids were generally calm and had fewer tantrums when I spent time with them. Yes, it does take a lot for me but I am reminding myself, ‘The days are long, The years are short!’

Thursday, February 25, 2021

I forgot to take a picture today until I saw this scene…

Quiet time with her colours and books. Around 9:30 PM after her sister went to sleep. Her downtime alone – I suppose.

I have one child who is early to bed and early to rise (like her dad) and another who is late to bed and loves a sleep-in (like her mom).

(Which in other words mean, I sleep less!😁)

Friday, February 26, 2021

Another week comes to a close!

We went out for an evening walk yesterday and I think I sprained my leg! 🙁 Experienced our first ‘mask-checking by the police!’ 😀

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13 Replies to “How to Take Consent From Our Children? – Week 8, 2021 – Project 365”

  1. The littlest things are the best and ice cream is such a simple pleasure.
    The painting looks like so much fun.
    Consent is such an important subject with children. We have had talks about it this past week when I had to sign a consent form so my youngest can have Covid tests at school. She was all for saying no until I explained things, she’s still not convinced but said I could sign the forms and she will argue with the teachers. Eek x

  2. Your story reminded me of my meltdown, as a child, when my mother cut too much of my hair. Now it’s a fun memory and I still love long hair (waist length), I hope she will remember it the same when she is all grown up. 🙂

  3. Simple pleasures are often the best, and we must appreciate them. I remember the joy of eating ice cream in the middle of cold Russian winter, for some reason that felt extra exciting, and that memory stayed with me.
    I agree with many principles of the attachment parenting. Lovely to see your young artists painting with enthusiasm. When I was little, my Dad cut my hair, he was actually pretty good. I had to cut my younger son’s hair last week, and struggled with that task.

  4. Hope the sprain isn’t too bad and your leg is better soon. What is a mask check? I mean it’s obviously you either have one or you don’t if you’re out and about. Is this for work? In the home? They’re very hot on checking work places in Dubai for mask wearing and social distancing and will just close somewhere if it doesn’t comply.
    When I raised my children we didn’t have all these names/terms/labels for raising children. I’m 49 years of age and my youngest child is 21.

  5. I know exactly what you mean with PMS days. Always good to find something to totally absorb yourself in. Yes the days are short, before you know it the girsts will be starting secondary school – make the most of every day #365

  6. Painting looks like fun and glad it was good therapy for you too. Putting a shower curtain underneath is a good idea. Sorry that the haircut was upsetting for your daughter – it can be a shock when it’s shorter than they were expecting. #project365

  7. Loving all the artwork, I really should look to start bullet journeling I think I would find the same as you. Hope the art therapy worked. Sorry to hear about your leg hope it is better soon.

  8. I have never read a truer sentence and one I should think about more often – ‘our wish list has grown bigger again’. I love your steps for asking for consent. Reading this I realised that this is something we have to automatically do with our son as he has autism. We have to talk think through things step by step. With pictures and videos mainly #365

  9. They are lovely at that age aren’t they, easily pleased! I am finding teens a bit trickier to navigate, everything is a drama lately! I will have to try a bit of art therapy to calm everyone down. I love your last photo with the cannon and fort? lovely blue skies too.

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