RAMADAN OF PAST
Three years ago this is how my Ramadan was. Alhamdulilah. For all 30 days, I completed all what I set out to do.
That was during my pre-motherhood, pre-pregnancy, pre-marriage, pre-engagement days. In short, I was single and free with no responsibilities. Alhamdulilah.
RAMADAN OF PRESENT
Fast forward 3 years later and this is how my current situation is.
Preparing for Ifthar while little girl is in her play-pen. Excitedly puts Nouman Ali Khans’ live video on Facebook – Day 1. Beautiful interpretation of Surah Al Baqarah. I was getting into the groove of it when I hear the specific alarm from the play pen indicating it’s time for a diaper change! Mission aborted
Ifthar over. Maghrib over. Little girl’s evening meal over. Just relaxing before Isha prayer and was about to open the Mushaf when another cry – the little girl who was having floor time just bumped her head. Again. Mission aborted
Later in the night, preparing food for Suhoor after little girl slept, Mufti Menk’s series was the target. Prepared food halfway. Found out the site for the audio link. Another cry. Mission aborted.
Feeling disheartened and sad. There is no way I can match up to my past Ramadan. Ya Allah. Depression sets in.
Suddenly remembered reading an article from Muslim Matters during the free to glory single days. How Ramadan after being a mother is like Ramadan 2.0. Ramadan 1.0 (while single) is the easy part. Just look after yourself and your activities. Whereas Ramadan 2.0, an upgraded version …well, it requires upgraded hard drive and CPU. Lots of Sabr.
6 TIPS FOR BALANCING RAMADAN AND MOTHERHOOD
1. Taking care of a tiny human being. Preparing Iffthar for a big human….all this comes under Ibadah. Yes, it does not look fancy but it is…. SubhanaAllah.
2. Adhkar while preparing food, while nursing, while doing laundry, folding clothes, even while giving the little girl a shower! Yes, Adhkar. Dua of the first 10. Dua of forgiveness. Duas from your old dua list. Duas after every prayer. Duas during accepted times.
3. Even a single page of the Holy Quran. Maybe it is not possible for us to finish the entire Holy Quran 3 times like before. But we can recite atleast one page everyday, isn’t it? Something better than nothing! Reading a few pages is better than being disheartened and doing nothing!
4. The time after everyone has gone to bed. Between 11 PM and Suhoor time..yeah perfect for Quran reading/finishing the extra work/hobbies/audio. Yes, me time means decrease in sleep time but then it is just for a month isn’t it?
5. Sadaqah. Charity in any form or manner. Cash. Food. Clothes
6. Allah has given ease for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers. If your or baby’s health is getting affected, utilise the ‘ease’ given by Allah without feeling guilty. It is His Rahmah. Soak in His mercy. Alhamdulilah.
What are your ways to balance Ramadan and busy mom life? How do your deal with the guilt and depression?