As a first time mother, one of the most nerve wrecking situation is when your baby has an unfortunate fall or a bump on the head. How ever careful you are, it does happen often, especially when they have just started learning how to crawl or walk. Even if you are a calm person otherwise, seeing your child fall forms a lump in your heart.
This article outlines the flurry of emotions a mother feels and poke humour at how she often (over) reacts.
Panic:
My lord. The nerves until the tip of your fingers are tingling and there is a minute or two when you cannot make a positive thought process. There is complete mayhem in the inner crevices of your brain. This phase
lasts for a very short duration but there is complete lack of mental control of oneself.
Action:
Quick thinking and common sense prevails. You immediately pick the baby up and do the necessary first aid. You also comfort and reassure the child that it is alright. Also nurse the child where applicable. In case of more serious incident, you usually call some one for help or go to ER. In short, help is sought and necessary medicines or treatment given. The duration of this phase depends on the severity of the situation. This phase often overlaps with the next few phases.
Fear:
What if something severe has happened? There is constant monitoring of the baby by the mother. Did the baby just vomit? Why is she not smiling? Why is he sleeping longer today? Why is she not eating today? Is it due to the fall? You get scared at the slightest off reaction from the child. This phase lasts for an hour or so until the baby start playing normally or turns to his usual terrible two routine.
Self-doubt:
I am not a good mother. It was my fault. I was busy looking at my phone. I am not fit for motherhood. Constantly badgering yourself with negative talk of your abilities as a mother. This is by far the hardest phase to get through. You often need help or reassurance from your spouse or friend.
Acceptance:
That falling down, bumps and hits are a common part of childhood. Do you remember every fall you encountered as a child? There is a folklore among elders that children are often protected by angels. As long as there are no fractures, burns, deep cuts and other serious injuries, bumps and hits are an inevitable part of childhood. Acceptance settles and the mother’s mind is calm until the next fall!
What was your scariest parenting moment?
Related reading :
Kübler–Ross model of Grief
First-aid after a fall
SubhanAllah. I went through this a few days ago and went through these EXACT stages! I literally thought I felt my heart jump into my throat when I heard my little one bang his head. It wasn’t even that bad but I think because I panicked he panicked too lol. Jazakillahu khayrun for the article and for letting the rest of us first time others know that our thought processes are normal!
Totally relatable! Lol I don’t let the baby sleep for a while after that just for my satisfaction of seeing them around and playing ?
I so lobed reading this! No a fall does not make you a bad Mum. Happens to everyone. I jave dropped my little brother when he was barely some days and I couldn’t stop crying thinking something might have happened to him.
These stages are also relatable to the moment when your younger sister get hurts! I have felt that..
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Haha omgosh I think I will be one of those overprotective parents who is just constantly stressed out lol. I’m always afraid of kids falling. I don’t know how I would handle it lol
Omg! My little B fell off the chair and hit a cabinet knob onetime and this is what I went through! Although I’d have to say that panic was my primary response!
I can totally relate! I am pretty chill when it comes to the everyday falls but my daughter recently had a bad fall and I went through this! Alhumdulilah she is fine though!
Oh do I remember those stages when they started crawling! Plus one time somebody said to me if the baby doesn’t cry then that’s an issue, which made me panic more if they didn’t! xo
I’m not a mum but I’ve seen accidents at school which have made my heart skip a beat. Your post is an accurate description of those feelings you go through.
Completely agree with this. Unfortunately I also have a very critical family who seem to think the fall was probably because I wasn’t keeping a better eye on the children…..so have that added stress
I have yet to experience this not that I ever want to see my little girl fall but I know it is normal because even as a child I went out of my way to fall LOL it is all part of learning. Lovely post x
I cant even imagine!
It must be a nightmare come true no?
But kids are sturdier than we give them credit for.
Although i would hate myself for days n days!
Nice article, to the point I must say.. really needed to read these pointers since I have a a little baby of my own now!
Oh boy I can relate to this. My toddler is so hyper and fast, and did I mention accident prone. He falls everyday ?
It hurts us more than it hurts them!
So relatable-I think every mother does this, whether we admit it or not
Oh my gosh I know! The first time my little guy bumped his head I was like OH MY GOSH I AM A TERRIBLE MOTHER…then you realize how durable these little humans really are!