Parenting Conundrum! – Week 11, 2021 – Project 365

Week 11 of 2021 Alhamdulilah! Sharing a picture daily from our small world as part of Project 365

Saturday, March 13, 2021

Taking kids out for shopping is also guilt ridden now! What times!?!

Meanwhile, my eldest lost her second milk tooth!

Sunday, March 14, 2021

Growing up my parents used to buy everything in pairs for my brothers. (They had an age gap of two years)

Now with my own kids with an age gap of 2.9 years I totally understand why!!

Everything that the 5-year-old does, the 2-year old also has to do. Even studying for her exams! 😁 Books, toys, chocolate, anything and everything has to be two in our house.

A friend remarked – buy one – so that it teaches them to learn to share. But I find they are not old enough to understand the concept of sharing equally.

So what is the correct way of parenting? Buy everything equally for the kids or buy one and make them share?

Monday, March 15, 2021

As Desi parents, ‘Don’t make me angry!’ is like on the tip of our tongues. I have to consciously try to control myself to stop saying this statement and the likes.

So why is it wrong?

Well, because our child is not responsible for our feelings, rather we feel that way (for eg: anger) because of our own self ( eg: tired/hungry/frustrated etc etc)

Every time we say to our child ‘Doing so and so activity makes me proud/sad/angry/worried, we reinforce this concept back to them that our emotions as a parent are controlled by their actions.

Rather we can say to them the action they are doing is dangerous or harmful or how the choice they have taken is a good one or that we can see how kind they are being to others (etc as per the situation!)

I was having a hard day today and was feeling low so I went off to bed. My daughter came up with this artwork and gifted it to me. It put a genuine smile on my face because it was such a kind action. I was about to say, ‘You made me so happy!’ (It genuinely did!) but I stopped myself, thought a little bit and tried to deflect my attention back to her and her action and replied, ‘It is such a kind thing! Thank you very much!’ She was so excited. ❤️

(Quite often, I cannot really remember all the tips and hacks I have read in the parenting books – this time thankfully could. Alhamdulilah. Meaning I am not always thoughtful or kind or correct! I get mad quite often something I am not proud of at all! Social media makes us believe the person is always like that when they are sharing just one instance out of many wrong instances. Disclaimer!)

My parenting journey is learning, unlearning and relearning.

@thedoctormommy talks quite a lot about this topic and it has been really an eye-opener to me. Check her out for great parenting insights. MashAllah TabarakaAllah4d

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

Today’s online class was doing graduation day craft work. (I didn’t have chart paper and yellow wool so gave them A4 blue sheet & thread!🙈)

This precious little girl of mine is going to be done with her KG-2 and off to big school soon. InshaAllah.

I still can’t believe she is 5 (and a half!) Alhamdulilah.

It feels like just yesterday she was born and I was so excited about cloth diapering!!🙈🙈

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Recently she started her coin collection. She does have serious daily auditing routine too! 🙂

Thursday, March 18, 2021

I was feeling quite uninspired today and hence do not have any photo. Sharing a picture from two days ago when we made the Tiktok viral ‘ Feta Cheese Pasta’. I and husband liked it , kids tried it but not to the point of favourite!

Friday, March 19, 2021

Of late, I am finding it difficult to stay positive. That’s why I like doing this project 365. It forces me to at least click a picture even when I really do-not feel like writing or taking a photograph.

How has your week been? Follow us on our Project 365 stories on Instagram.

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13 Replies to “Parenting Conundrum! – Week 11, 2021 – Project 365”

  1. Ahh! I used to buy two of everything, one for both of my girls. It saves on the arguments. They learn to share eventually.
    The graduation craft work sounds like fun. They grow up so fast.
    I have seen the feta cheese pasta from TikTok and will get around to trying it eventually. x

  2. I used to buy two of most things for my girls for the same reason. It’s less of an issue with Sophie and Thomas though as the age gap is bigger. That’s an interesting point about the things we say potentially making kids think that our emotions are linked to their actions. It’s given me some food for thought. I love the blue paper graduation cap. #project365

  3. Project 365 is often good for helping you look at the little things which has really helped me over this last year. Not always easy though. My son loves auditung his pennies too, even down to the date that they were issued #365

  4. Love that final photo. Gorgeous light. I quite fancy trying the tiktok pasta but I’m not a feta fan. Could try it with a different cheese I suppose.

  5. Theres is 3 years and 11 months between my two and I also seem to buy most things in duplicate although I do find the slightly larger age gap tricky although less so as they get older. I am struggling with positivity at the moment but I do find this helps.

  6. I think I would buy two of everything within reason. My son doesn’t understand sharing but then he isn’t really interested in toys. My little lady will share with her brother if he shows an interest as it is bit of a novelty #365

  7. At this young age the concept of sharing is a difficult one. My sons have a big gap between them, so I didn’t buy the same things. What a sweet picture your daughter made for you! There is no right or wrong in different parenting attitudes. If my child’s actions (kind gesture, sharing a joke, cuddles) make me happy, I will say so. Emotions do control us to some extent, there’s nothing wrong with that. 🙂 Though I can also see your point of view.

  8. There is just under or just over 3 years between each of my kids and I don’t think there is a right answer! I wouldn’t like to share everything of mine so if a present turns out to be really popular then I will buy again in a different colour or design so they have one each. There are plenty of other opportunities to share. #project365

  9. No I’m not a believer of giving everything the older child has to the younger, I don’t think it’s fair on the older child and the younger child will have expectations as they get older also. i have 5 children. I can’t believe they’re having graduations before they’ve even started school, oh my word, so glad my kids have all flown the nest

  10. Love her graduation, she looks so cute. I work in a supermarket and do get frustrated with families shopping together, but it’s fine if it is just you and your daughter. We only recommend it to try and keep the numbers in store down and keep everyone safe

  11. Mine are 12 and 13 and they don’t like to share. I would have to measure it with a ruler to make sure one doesn’t get more than the other. Usually we tell them whoever cuts it the other picks the half they want, that makes them cut something much fairer lol. Lovely artwork from your daughter.

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